The Advantages of Being Old

Getting old is the fear for many people all over the world. Gerontophobia is the fear of growing old. It is shared by millions and majority of these people deny that they are old. They try to cover up their wrinkles and other ageing symptoms by using so many different cosmetics.

I met a man who was halfway bald. I asked him how it felt like being bald. But instead of replying he just turned around and showed me a tattoo he had on his head.

Recently a few scientists with the help of me, figured out a way to assess if people are old. The report concluded that being old is not a disaster that people believe to be but rather a blessing.

The Advantages of Being Old

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
4. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

5. Clothes you buy now won't wear out.
6. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. This saves you the trouble with the cops.

7. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
8. You sing along with the elevator music.

9. Your eyes won't get much worse. Still you eat your vegetables.
10. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

11. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.

12. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

13. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. It probably was always at a manageable size.

14. I bet you don't remember the first point.

The research however cannot explain the following instances.

• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

• Sanath Jayasuria

Differences in the Rival Camps Before the Ashes.

These are a few differences in the two rival camps before the Ashes.

The Aussies are ready for the Ashes. Or at least they say so.

The English aren't ready for the ashes and they know so.

The Aussies are led by a great batsman who in recent times has shown us that he can't captain.

The English's best captain just retired as his batting wasn't called batting.

Lee struggles.

Flintoff struggles.

The Aussies have no good spinner.

The English have no good keeper.

Aussies strategy is bound to be stronger.

English are weakened by strategist Buchanan.

Aussies play for pride they lost after their fall from grace.

English play for pride that never was theirs.

Aussies will miss Symonds.

English won't miss Vaughan.

I just hope that the Ashes won't be an one sided affair like last time.

My bet is on Pakistan

Another finals with two sub - Continental teams. I vouched for the Windies yesterday but sadly they were blown away by the brilliance of Dilshan. In the finals I'm betting on Pakistan. i know this sounds crazy as all logic points to Sri Lanka and also since so many cricket experts such as Harsha, Srinath, Ganguly are for the men from the emerald isles. But I justify my prediction that it will Pakistan who will emerge as winners tomorrow in the following points.

1.) Pakistan have a strong batting line up unlike the Sri Lankans. They bat all the way down while the batting for the Lankans rests on the shoulders of the top four.

2.) Among the top four of the Sri Lankan batting, only Dilshan and Sangakara have produced runs in the tournament so far. Jayasuria (other than the one innings against the Gayle and Co. in the group stage) and Jayawardena are yet to open their account. These are the main batsman who carry the task for scoring runs.

3.) The Pakistan bowling is strong just like the Sri Lankans, but the Pakistanis have Umer Gul who gets the ball to reverse swing so early in the innings. Also the variety of Shahid Afridi is just as lethal as the carom bowler, Mendis. Muralitharan will be threat for Pakistan. Slinger Malinga not in the best of colour can be juiced for runs while the 8 overs from Angelo Mathews and Udana are the weak link for Sri Lanka.

4.) The Pakistan team has a more experienced and balanced side compared to the Sri Lankan outfit. While Sri Lanka has a lot of younger faces, Pakistan have only 2 or 3 new boys. In a finals where nerves will be shaking, the team that will win will be the team that can contain those nerves.

5.) Though Pakistan fielding continues to be ordinary, it has improved over the course of the tournament.

6.) The peaking of Afridi - the batsman adds fangs to an already powerful batting lineup.

7.) History repeats itself. So Pakistan is bound to win like they did in 1992 when the Aussies exited in the group stages.

Therefore I believe it is Pakistan who will emerge as the champions.

Is Steve Waugh an English Man in Disguise?

History repeats itself.

That commonly repeated statement just proved to be true yesterday as South Africa again decided to hold onto it's 'choker's tag'. So if history does repeat, then Pakistan are all set to win the cup. In 1992 when the Aussies were kicked out in the group stages it was our neighbors who lifted the cup. So my bet is on Pakistan versus the Windies in the final.


This may go against everything I've written before, but the Pakistan team that turned up yesterday against Smith's Company was a different Pakistan all together.
The move to send Afridi finally worked as he blistered an well deserved half century. He finally didn't self destruct. And what a golden arm he has!! Boom Boom Afridi.

But this post is not about Afridi but about Steve Waugh. Legendary Australian captain Steve Waugh feels the Indian skipper's "honeymoon period" is over. It is isn't it? But Stevie gave it all away when he was asked whether Dhoni or Ganguly was a better skipper. After a moment of pause, he diplomatically evaded the question saying "Dhoni is a fantastic captain". That's all we wanted to hear Steve. Bengal surely rejoices now.

Waugh, regarded as one of the most successful captains in cricket history, admitted that Australia's aura of invincibility was over but felt it was a good sign for the game. This is an AUSSIE SAYING IT. "Their aura of invincibility has gone since their loss to India at home but it is good for the game because challenges enhance the game," he said. And how right is he !!

This just makes me wonder whether Steve Waugh is an English man in disguise?

A True Leader......

As much as Dhoni is blamed for India's early exit as a skipper (especially by me), I can't help but praise him about the decision he took yesterday. I know this a 'U - turn' of my stance against Dhoni, but Dhoni displayed leadership qualities yesterday that showed just why, he is the Indian skipper.

Yes, India lost yesterday, but it that is not the point I'm making here. Dhoni stuck with the same team that lost to England amid much speculations and criticism that the playing 11 was not the best. Yet Dhoni stood behind his players and backed them up to the hilt. A true character of a captain.

Sourav Ganguly showed the same quality when he was the captain and bought in Harbhajan Singh as the replacement for Kumble in 2001 against the Aussies amid resistance. This payed huge dividends as Harbhajan bowled India to victory in that series and also now is India's senior bowler.

I never doubted Dhoni as a leader. I only doubted his new evolved batting.

As the saying goes ...

Fear a lion leading 100 chickens than a chicken leading 100 lions.

India is out.........

India is out of the World T20 Championships in England.........The dreams and hopes of a billion people shattered..........The defending champions ousted........

What more can I write? Analyze the mistakes of India and Dhoni? There's too many to do that. Just sit alone and sob I guess at what could have been.

Expect the back lash and an in depht analysis of India's disastrous campaign to glory this weak end.

Warner very Un - Chanderpaul

This was something funny I just read.



To read the article go to, http://timesonline.typepad.com/line_and_length/2009/06/rubbing-it-in.html.

Cynical of Mr. 47. 82

As most of you know, I am not a big fan of M.S. Dhoni. I despise his batting technique but at the end of the day the results only count and Dhoni secures results. He has been a vital cog in the Indian batting line up and has scored runs consistently over the last 18 months. His captaincy also seems to lose the sting he had early on and he is too predictable. On captaincy, he still has a long way to go and am not surprised that he is not able to perform the same results over and over again. No captain can do that. No mortal.

But his new batting style baffles me. Though I despise his batting style, I have always admired the power he puts in his shots. The way he clubs a spinner some 40 rows back takes a lot of muscle power, and great hand-eye co-ordination. Dhoni, the batsman has excelled in the 50 over format but in the test arena, he had it tough going. Dhoni has always been a natural aggressor and curbing his natural instincts is inferring with his performance. He comes one down now and that wastes balls. Yesterday he had a strike rate of 45. What is he doing? Trying to save a test match? As a captain, I understands that he wants to play the role of a responsible captain. But why not let Raina manage this role? He would be a better person for the role while Dhoni can slog - something he is really good at. Why try to be someone you are not, Dhoni bhayia? Just look at Gayles and McCullum. They are captains too but they play their natural game and club the leather out of the ball.

Dhoni's captaincy is all and well and he has proved time and again that he has enormous leadership capability.

If he concentrates on his batting, the India will truly be a force to reckon with. We don't want a Mr. 47.82%, do we?

The Aussie Madman to Work With His Enemies. (God save the queen)

John Buchanan,The former Aussie coach and Kolkotta coach is all set to work with his enemies. Who says a leopard can't change it's spots?? John just did. Don't believe me?? Here's the proof. All's fair in love and war and cricket, isn't it?

I don't actually pity the Australians. I pity the Englishman.

May God save English cricket. May God save the Ashes, and may God save cricket.